1. Sexual orientation is innate; gender identity is a story we tell ourselves
Many detransitioners say their attraction to men or women never changed, but the meaning they gave to that attraction did. One woman recalls that her bisexuality was “heavily part of the reason people thought I was trans… it gets commonly misunderstood that someone in LGB might be T, not that they’re L/G & T, it’s straight up one or the other.” – HeavenlyMelody91 source [citation:03be5c0a-c1e2-40a2-bba9-dc9a13915443] In other words, liking the same sex was re-framed as proof that she was the other sex. When she stepped away from that story, her sexuality was still there—unchanged and authentic.
2. Medical life-support versus natural living
Detransitioners often contrast the two experiences in practical terms. Being lesbian, gay, or bisexual “doesn’t involve any real medical intervention,” while identifying as transgender “requires lifelong sustenance from the medical community in pills and appointments.” – HeavenlyMelody91 source [citation:03be5c0a-c1e2-40a2-bba9-dc9a13915443] They see this medical dependency as a clear dividing line: one path asks for acceptance, the other for surgery and hormones.
3. Conflation can push people into transition who never needed it
Several contributors describe how the LGB-T merger steered them toward transition. One man says, “Homophobia was a big factor in my transition, as a conversion therapy, a cure for effeminacy.” – jadepraerie source [citation:02c905ba-f19c-4c5c-8c2c-be9e12d7b1d6] Because he was an effeminate boy who liked boys, the people around him assumed he must really be a girl. Separating sexual orientation from gender identity, he argues, would have let him stay a soft, gay boy instead of starting hormones.
4. Boundaries and misunderstandings inside the shared community
When the two groups are treated as one, personal boundaries get questioned. A gay man explains that “being shoved into one community means you get called a transphobic bigot for not liking vaginas way more often, which has never been right.” – bradx220 source [citation:8be6af20-411d-4ead-a562-a6dcaa554f71] Detransitioners say that keeping the groups distinct protects both: gay, lesbian, and bisexual people can state their sexual preferences without apology, and people questioning gender can explore without pressure to redefine their orientation.
5. Historical accident, not destiny
The alliance began because early transitioners were mostly effeminate gay men and butch lesbians, so “trans back then was just seen as a sort of super gay.” – watching_snowman source [citation:2df5b340-268e-4820-8415-c4e359c4b70a] Detransitioners now argue that this historical overlap is no reason to keep the groups fused; times, knowledge, and needs have changed.
A hopeful closing
Taken together, these voices say: your sexual orientation is a stable part of who you are, while ideas about gender can shift, be questioned, and even be released. Choosing gender non-conformity—simply living as yourself without medical alteration—can bring peace and authenticity. By untangling orientation from identity, we make room for everyone to understand themselves more clearly and to find non-medical paths to well-being.